JoeP, the Fearless Dogeater, with an ode to Elizabeth Furnace, a popular and punishing trail in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia:
Your unpredictable and spontaneous nature, your naturally beautiful and perfectly formed curves, the subtle ways with which you dominate every man or woman seeking to master you. My body still hurts from those wild afternoons when you threw me to the ground and ravaged me against the rocks after I had gotten too haughty and thought I had you under my control. Artful temptress! You knew the pain would not keep me away! I had to have you again and again!
Read the whole letter, very well done.